Where is this all going?

I've already posted about SLCC and how I'm feeling about that. What I don't know is whether dressing for it is going to be a one-time thing, something I will also do for other suitable occasions, or the beginning of a more substantial life change. Now that my wife is gone I have more freedom to think about who I want to be in RL.

What I know for sure is that I want to dress and move expressively, touch freely, and live with an open heart - and in our society here and now those things are all gendered female. (They're not innately female, in other times and places men have done all of them. About the only human universal about gender seems to be that there ARE gender roles; I don't know of any truly androgynous societies.) I just don't know what shape I will take when I get there!