Jan. 23rd, 2011

shirleymarquez: (Default)
So, how has life been going since SLCC, you ask? Well, I'm not going to bore you with ALL the little details (some have been good, some bad), just talk about the role that being Shirley has had in my life.

After SLCC ended I took some time to process how I felt about the experience before going out again. My next major trip out was in September; I went to a transgender pride march in Northampton MA, and then later to a party at a friend's house. The party was my first coming out to my friends and acquaintances (some knew because of reading about it on Facebook, but aside from housemates they hadn't seen me as Shirley)

In November I went to Transcending Boundaries, as I mentioned I had been considering. The conference was totally awesome; highly recommended to anybody who is curious about gender issues, whether you identify as transgendered or not. Next year's convention is in Springfield; Kate Bornstein will be the keynote speaker. (OMG, if I weren't already convinced to be there, that would close the deal!)

This month there have been two outings: a day at the Arisia science fiction convention (I also spent one day as my male self, one day as my SCA persona, and the final day as a mashup of all three), and a day at First Event (another transgender conference). Arisia was another big coming out, as the fannish community hadn't met Shirley. Everybody was wonderful to me in all my aspects.

The highlight of First Event for me was an evening trip out to Kowloon (a huge Chinese restaurant on Route 1) with a group of 22. There was a live band playing; they played "We Are Family" for us, and when a bunch of us got up to dance some of the other people at the restaurant joined us!

Finally, there have been a few minor things between the major events; a couple of social nights out with a transgender group, shopping trips, stuff like that.

So... I'm still figuring all of this out. The next step is going to be to spend a week or a month (I'm still deciding) as Shirley full time, doing all my everyday stuff; I have now accumulated enough clothes to do that. If only it weren't so darned cold lately!! So far all of my time en femme has been in skirts and dresses; I'm not yet confident that I could be read as a woman in pants. Maybe if I find some really sexy embroidered jeans it will work :) I had to cheat on the way home from First Event and pull on thigh-high socks (from my SCA wardrobe) over the stockings or else I would have been an icicle by the time I got home, and I wore my boy boots for traveling because I don't have any winter footwear for Shirley yet. It's not so awful really; everybody wears sensible shoes of one sort or another on the T.
shirleymarquez: (Default)
Odd experience: people actually seem MORE likely to sit next to me on the T when I'm dressed as Shirley than when I'm there as Mark. Since I'm sure that I'm still pretty easily read at this point, I'm totally mind-boggled by that. Maybe it's the body language; when I'm Shirley I occupy less space, so it might look like the space near me is more available.

Then again, maybe I overestimate how easily I'm read. Back in October I went to a concert by LezleeAnne (http://www.lezleeanne.com/ ), a transgendered musician. It was out in Waltham; I took the train and had to walk a few blocks to the concert site. On the way back to the train, a guy driving by called out a compliment (which I accepted gracefully, of course, the SCA has trained me well!), and I totally don't know whether he was being honest or making fun of me. Whether or not he was being a proper gentleman, I behaved as a proper lady :) It was a busy area so I didn't feel threatened, and I don't remember the exact words but it was a pleasant compliment and not a rude one. (But I've been conditioned by years of SCA experience where people say lots of nice things about each other; I'm naturally inclined to trust the intentions of somebody who has a kind word for me.)

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